• Where important estate planning documents are located. Don’t ask for specifics, just make sure documents are in place so their wishes will be carried out. Find out if they have a durable power of attorney and a health care proxy. With a durable power of attorney, they designate someone to control their financial affairs if they become incapacitated. If your parents are concerned that this person may assume control prematurely, suggest leaving the document with their attorney, who can deliver it to the appropriate person when necessary. A health care proxy delegates health care decisions to a third person when your parent is unable to make those decisions. Usually, this document also outlines procedures to be used to prolong life.

• How to contact their advisors. Ask for a list of names, addresses, and phone numbers of lawyers, accountants, and financial advisors.

• Their rationale for distributing their estate. Often, when heirs understand why an estate is being distributed in a particular manner, it can prevent problems among those heirs. If your parents are reluctant to discuss these things now, suggest they leave a personal letter with their estate planning documents explaining their rationale for distributions. This is a good place to explain unequal bequests or large charitable contributions.

• Preferences for the future. Find out where your parents would like to live if they’re not physically able to live in their current home. Do they want to move in with relatives or live in an assisted-living facility? Discuss in detail what procedures they want performed to prolong life in the event of a terminal illness. Determine their preferences for funeral arrangements.

While these topics are sometimes not easy to discuss, they are important to know to ensure that your parents’ estate is properly handled.